January Journey

In the past two weeks, month really, I've discovered more about myself than I ever have in such a short amount of time. My 2016 began with a resolution to change, to be a better me, a version that I thought more people would accept and one that I would truly love. Instead through the month of January something different happened, I did change but not drastically. I started seeing myself for who I was and began to love that version of me, the one that's been here all along. I rediscovered my faith and now I'm committed to keep on discovering it and believing more strongly. No longer am I haunted by the fact that not everyone likes me or that I'm not the prettiest girl or even the smartest. Most of the time I'm your average girl just trying to make it in the world, and that's NOT a bad thing. My flaws and imperfections, how ever many there may be, are no longer seen as things I need to shed. Instead they're a part of who I am, and whose to say that having imperfections is bad. I've opened myself to be less judgmental of others, I have struggles, how could I possibly know theirs? This new view of myself and the world is one I'm determined to keep. There are still moments where I doubt who I am or if the life I'm leading is the life I want, but that's all that comes with the journey.

As January's ending days are upon us, I thought I would revel in the glory that is change. Change seems so scary, sudden, and honestly unnecessary. BUT it's so necessary. The January I had this year is infinitely different that the one I had in 2015 or 2014 or so forth, and the January that I will have in 2017, which will once again be marked by new changes. Without change, everything and anything would stay the same forever, and isn't that truly more scary? Have you ever thought about that instead? What if you lived in the same place and lived the same life forever? Or had the same people always in your life? Or this or that? Of course these are just what if questions, but change is essential and not at all scary anymore to me, but wonderful. With change comes new things, not always good, but definitely not always bad either.

2015 was not a good year for me personally, I had a good start but then a steady decline followed after January, but this year I'm changing things. This year won't be a steady decline after each month but instead a climb upwards. I'm going to fall a couple of times, even think I can't get back up, but I'm going to learn to push through and endure the struggles, because that's what really makes us, us.

So to wrap this up, I'll say this, so far my resolution is going well and I hope it continues to. And hopefully I'll be posting another January journey in 2017, highlighting the beautiful changes I'm experiencing in my blessed life.

Much Love,
Ksen